Blog Stories New Miserable Experience

New Miserable Experience

By Shannon Dooley, July 16, 2020

I’ve always been a fan of the Gin Blossoms song Hey Jealousy. Judge away – I have no shame.

There was one line in that song that stuck with me so hard, “If you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.” 2020 Shannon has no idea exactly where 21 year old Shannon’s head was back in 1997, but when that song came out it resonated with me on many levels, but that line, damn – it just wouldn’t get out of my head and it has stayed there for 23 years, no joke. Maybe it sparked the ah-ha moment when I realized that my own expectations were often the direct cause of my disappointment when things didn’t turn out “right”. Maybe it was the feeling that I’m ok to just be me, that the expectations of others don’t get to shape who I am. There’s really no telling. I just know that it felt so simple and so powerful.

The reason I’m bringing this up now? Well, we all have expectations, no matter how much we try to keep them in check it’s part of how are brains are wired. If I eat an orange today and it’s tasty and I don’t get sick or die, I expect I can eat one tomorrow with similar result. Right? Only it’s not exclusively basic survival instinct that creates expectation, we’re arguably more complex than that. We create expectations in every aspect of our lives, for better or worse. And right now we’re all facing the demolition of our expectations, some people for the first time.

The beautiful thing about being human is that we are truly in control of how we handle these challenging moments. We can be sad or angry, or both. We can experience fifty varying emotions in the span of a day, or an hour. We can drink whiskey, howl at the moon, or wear our favorite stones for protection.  Whatever people need to do to process and feel strong, they’re doing it. But once you’ve shocked yourself with an interestingly timed cry while watching Netflix, let out the primal screams, smudged the house with sage, and/or had a couple of hangovers it’s time. It’s time to reset, to let go, and to remember expectations truly are a way to feel let down. It’s time to do some personal work, to let go of long held expectations, to embrace flexibility, and maybe even find a good therapist.

Now is a time to be better listeners, to be better neighbors, and to care about the safety of others as we do our own families.

As my good friend Jerry would say.. take care of yourself, and each other.

Shannon Dooley

Broker | Earth Advantage | ADU Specialist | OR & WA


Long before I lived here I was enamored with the Pacific Northwest. Growing up in the high desert of Nevada I found the dichotomy of the moisture and associated life in the PNW incredibly appealing. As a teenager I was certain I wanted to live in Seattle, then one trip to Portland changed my mind. I was in love with this city instantly and knew this is where I wanted to grow and where I wanted to raise my daughter. That was 20 years ago and I’m still enamored. I have gotten to know this city inside and out and am continually grateful that my job is also my passion.  As a third generation REALTOR® I truly feel like real estate is in my DNA. Unlike many generational Realtors my business is built from the ground up. I started in 2016 and haven’t stopped yet. I believe in perpetual growth and am continually seeking knowledge and experience that will benefit my clients. I learned a lot about basic construction principles growing up with a father who could, and would, take on any home renovation project. More recently I took lessons from my former spouse who was a general contractor and home inspector. Those experiences provided a great base, but the most significant learning has happened since becoming a general contractor myself and starting a small construction company in 2019.  I love our communities, neighborhoods, and especially our houses. We are lucky to live in an architecturally diverse city where you can find almost any style of home and many vintage homes, some dating back to the 1800s. This can prove overwhelming for a lot of people, but I love these old houses and have an abundance of knowledge to help my clients navigate without fear.  I believe in real estate as the most important investment we can make for longitudinal wealth and want to help everyone realize that potential. For this reason first time homebuyers hold a special place in my heart, I love getting people started on that journey. The truth is I love it all. Seasoned investors who just want to talk numbers? Great. Coordinating with empathy and kindness to handle an estate? Yes please. Working with sellers to prepare their homes and finding the right way to say goodbye? Absolutely. I love it all. When I’m not obsessing over houses or helping my clients prepare for their next move you can find me hiding out in the mountains or at the beach, traveling internationally, re-learning the piano, meeting new people, attempting to keep house plants alive, exploring Portland neighborhoods, and supporting local businesses. I bought my dream house in North Portland where I live with my dog Arnold and the worlds most talkative cat John Meowkovich. I’m always taking on some sort of life endeavor and have been part of starting a food truck, owning and developing a small farm property, and writing a children’s book. “Can’t Stop - Won’t Stop” should probably be my motto. My adult daughter is an amazing human that brings me great joy. I couldn’t be more proud.
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